There's No Such Thing as Friends.

Growing up my father always would say, “there’s no such thing as friends.” As a kid with lots of friends, this always offended me. “Uh dad!” I would say, I never knew what he meant by this. Especially when everywhere we went we would always run into someone that knew him. I remember times traveling out of town and we would still run into people he knew!

To this day I still may not understand what the hell he means but this but as I get older, the more something about relationships become clear. No matter how much time and trust you invest into someone, putting all your attachments into one person can be costly on your emotions. I have hurt and been hurt by so many people due to my ego and social pressure.

Writing the wedding of Michelle and Kent really challenged me to understand what friendship is, what love is, it made me reminisce of all my heart breaks and that the one that was the best relationship I base all moving forward ones on will be there with his new wife. As I prepped for a dramatic smack down from the young new wife and even after meeting her within the first 5 minutes I offered her something she hated, lemonade; I can’t help but root back to the zombie apocalypse, Jesus’ 2^nd coming, Harold Camping’s revelation of the end is near.

I think of this because of all the things that are going on in this world of people killing people, shooting innocent children, bombs, plants getting blown up, exploring Mars we are human beings and a special species of the same kind. What and who else do we have to rely on when shit hits the fan? How did cultures survive without these cities we’ve built? We are all related and in a sense, family. We should value other’s emotions, feelings, being. We should be aware of other’s insecurities and instead of using them to get ahead, be understanding, be an example of a genuine human being. We should be taking care of each other.

In spite of all this craziness going on and people using people, I got to host a marriage ceremony! I got to unite and share one of the most exciting and genuine experiences my dear friends have found. Marriage is a supreme sharing of experience, and an adventure in the most intimate of human relationships. Marriage is the joyous union of two people whose comradeship and mutual understanding have flowered in romance. These two kids will be there when shit hits the fan - they are called to partner up in crime.

My face and stomach hurt from laughing so much the day of the wedding. It was such an honor to try and hold it together to perform a wedding ceremony for a beautiful dear friend. I feel at home here in Utah as I felt in Portland with the most amazing people. And I received closure by making amends with ex Bradley over beers with the new wife at the after party. It’s so odd how for so long we hang onto these awkward emotions and feelings we don't know what to do with that are basic and human however when we put egos aside, it’s nice to be genuine and be there for others when things go south.

It's finally nice to feel like I officially have began a new chapter of complete independence. We should take the time to learn from the people that come and go throughout our lives.

This morning, I returned to the very place where I fell in love with the wilderness. It is a sacred spot in my heart that molded me into the woman I am today. It made me realize I am strong independent and courageous.  It has renewed my soul and has encouraged me to enlighten others but more importantly, to be myself.  To be adventurous, explore that next trail around the corner, never look down for there are peaks to be seen and mountains to climb. To stay emotionally and reasonably grounded, to remember I came from this earth and to stay rooted like the trees. To grow, prune off that negative dead energy. Remain calm and when we die we become part of this earth, recycled into it.

I think I have the most amazing friends and love that they never change - if so it's only for the better it could be years but only feels like moments, and they open their homes and will give anyone the shirt off their back! I am one lucky lady that knows how to pick them.

My beloved Rock Canyon in Provo, UT