Monday, May 27, 2013

Vision Questing


Before I started this journey, I began to discover a new inner strength. I noticed ‘losing my faith’ has made me a bit braver and do things I would never imagine that would be on the adventure scale of 7+. For example, I over thought my abilities and prayed constantly while rock climbing, while hiking a very spicy area with steep drop offs, I would say over and over, “God protect me, God keep me safe…” I was such a baby inside while made my footing a bit more hesitant, I would over analyze and there were a couple times I wanted to back out and sit this one out.

I didn’t really tell anyone this from the beginning of my “revolution” but the more I am getting to know more people, the more the truth reveals itself: I am doing this journey more as a self discovery to prove to myself that I do not need prayer and I do not need faith or God. I would always say God has a plan for everything, or everything happens for a reason. I would wait to see what God had planned for me; I would wait to rationalize the meaning of events. It’s so refreshing now to know consequence happens, it’s lovely to know it is up to me to make things happen. I cannot just sit and wait.

This "faithless" journey has been somewhat stressful and most joy I have ever experienced. Following my gut and knowing my capabilities and most importantly staying positive are my new transitional reasoning rather than praying and having “faith.” I am in the driver seat to stay calm, reasonable, use good judgment, make decisions and be a good person.  These steps are what are making this trip worth living. I have never experienced many accomplishments in short amount of time. I feel more confident in keeping myself alive and to experience new things, trust myself that I will take care of myself, trust that I am not doomed if the unexpected were to happen. I am living life to the fullest without having to look for meaning – everything is meaningful and I appreciate it a lot more. So far things are lining up. I set off without a plan and as I am going along I am making things happen. I work hard for what I want and I know my capabilities and be confident that what ever happens will happen and I need to pick up and deal with it.

I left Portland with the knowledge I would be completing raft guide school at some point – dates were all in the air and there was a point where I didn’t even know if it was going to happen. I planned about 6 months ahead financially and thought back when I went to Alaska in 2008 I left with -$10 in my bank account. Since then I built a career in hospitality management and took life as it came. I am looking to get back to have that drive to be resourceful and to work to live and not live to work. I took a chance on my finances and having no stable job ahead of me. Once I quit, went to Utah, and then got to Vegas that’s when I finally got the official dates for guide school. I paid and realized the work is not fulltime as they have a lot of returnees that have the priority for the workload. I would be put on a ‘rent a guide’ list to pick up trips. I then took matters in my own hands and started applying for jobs. I had a wonderful interview for a summer camp where they have a loaded calendar full of awesome activities from mountain biking, rock climbing, hiking, disc golf, rafting, you name it they thought of it. I need more experience in outdoor education and facilitating groups in the wilderness. 
I went to Yosemite and had a crazy time – will take another sheet of paper – and followed up with an email to them and drove up to Folsom, CA to rest the day before guide school. I got an email back on the way to Folsom offering me the position. I was overwhelmed with an array of emotions: I laughed then cried then laughed even more. How funny, I thought. I made this happen and I am going to continue to stay positive.

There is no big eye in the sky watching over me waiting for me to find his plan. I am creating it and it’s very refreshing to know I don’t have to look for meaning, I don’t have to think I am being punished if things aren’t going my way, I pick up and try something new.


            

Monday, May 13, 2013

Keeping Backpacking 101 Sexy


I went on a 3 day backpacking adventure this weekend. I was looking for a just a day hike off Meetup to find new Vegas area trails and perhaps meet some new people. My mother is on this Vegashikers Meetup group and let me know there was an annual backpacking trip to Hidden Forest to a cabin - I checked a little of it out and signed up. 

It was nice to meet some fun, adventurous and interesting people. When I went on Meetup hikes in Oregon everyone was about 50+ years old and I felt out of the loop on conversation most of the time. I think this group was definitely labeled as the horniest group but leave it to Vegas to win that trophy and it was refreshing to finally dial into the conversation. 

On the way up in the caravan, I met a man that was on the verge of picking up and leaving Vegas to travel and explore new places. He questioned my journey and it's always refreshing to share with someone and another reminder of what I am doing and to remain open to others to give and take even if it's just knowledge and experience. He had the same thoughts I've had growing up: we see a different generation to live to work then work for retirement. Once you hit retirement then it's time to do this and that and follow your dreams of what you've always want to do. His father is on or about to retire and then was diagnosed with Leukemia. It's hard to hear that the things he once dreamed of doing once he hit retirement he is not able to do because of his weakness. It's scary for me personally to have this happen to me, to say "once day I will do this..." and then once the time comes, to not physically be able to do so.  

During the weekend, I came across 4 new interesting observations I never thought of before.

Interesting observation 1: It's funny trying to rid myself of material items yet be so into backpacking and outdoor gear. It's hard to not compare yourself and your items to other backpackers. The chorus around camp sang, "What kind of gear do you have? What did you bring to eat? What kind of stove/Jet boil do you have? How much did that weigh? Where did you get that?" At first I was annoyed by all this and comparing skill instead of enjoying the hike and the outdoors. It was like a competition of wiseness and skill, however in the end we all brought what we had in order to survive the weekend and left with greater knowledge collectively to be smarter and wiser for our next individual trips. Each person had something to share whether it was skills, jokes, tools, food or alcohol we were all in this together and had a wonderful time doing what we love in the wilderness. Which I believe created a deeper bond than actual urban bonding of money, material and social status. 

Interesting observation 2: Backpacking is the best cure for PMS. Sorry it's gross but seriously! I was all packed up and ready to head out Friday morning and as I was walking out the door, I went to the restroom one last time and "ah damn it!" Went and packed a small bag of feminine supply with a garbage bag (leave no trace). Uncomfortable in the car ride and a bit cranky it all soon left my body as we turned down the dirt road that didn't seem to have an end. Watching the dust fly behind us and looking up seeing the Beavertail Cactus in full bloom - I have never seen such a beautiful color spread across the brown desert floor. We all get unloaded and by this time I had to urinate. I tried to hold it in since the trailhead was completely exposed and no place to drop down, get my 2 bags out to change supply so I get my 30 lbs. pack on and head about. There were about 15 total I think in the group. As we started hiking we all went at different paces and I was able to lose everyone for a good 30 minutes, I already forgot about my cramps as I took pictures of the canyon walls, smelled the sage and enjoyed the cool breeze and clear skies. I found a cool big shady tree and did my business, I used to get so grossed out by the female anatomy and hated the whole menstrual cycle process, however at this moment, it didn't bother me, it felt natural and my mind went back to Sacajawea and how did she do this with Lewis and Clark by her side? I brought all necessary items to stay sanitary and went about the trail like it was no big deal, because it wasn't. By the time we got to camp I was in beatitude to have made it, to have gained 2000 ft elevation carrying a fat ass pack and staying hydrated enough to venture about, make lunch, figure a new tent, teach a new skill to someone and go back to hike another mile or so to find a "lost" hiker. By the end of the weekend, my cycle was over and I felt like it was nothing. No cramps, no crazy episodes of emotions, no cravings, nothing, just absolute peace and serenity. 

Interesting Observation 3: I am enjoying the beauty of the wilderness more and as if with new eyes as an atheist. I started hiking after a breakup in Utah back in 2008. I renewed my spirituality through meditating and praying in Rock Canyon (Provo). I used to set up my yoga mat, eat my granola and read my bible off the trail and pray to God, "thank you Lord, for creating this very place for me to relax and rejoice in your beauty." I wouldn't think anything past that. I have a deep adoration for rocks, since as a child I collect rocks - they are beautiful and that's all. I say "that's all" because now I can actually research explanations of the geology, history, see data, look for fossils, know that beyond the beauty is such complexity not created by God but bring perspective and the awesomeness of EVOLUTION! To know I am nothing superior but part of this amazing cycle of life and realize my thinking and previous observations were lazy. It makes me have a lot more respect for myself, and for the land and skies. 

Interesting Observation 4: You can't save stubborn people or can you? I'm not sure. As we got to the trailhead there was a dude with a ridiculous backpack and on top of that was another backpack, a Coleman sleeping bag and a Walmart tent. Not sure if I or someone should step in or not, I figured he read up on the hike and description and he should have common sense to know what he is doing. As we went on hiking he fell way behind, too far behind people didn't have the stamina to wait up. The sun started to go down and a big cloud began to roll in. As I felt a couple drops, I couldn't help but worry about this guy. It then hit me it was obvious this was hit first backpacking trip and I bet he didn't know how to pack and bag and I bet a million bucks he packed canned food.There was a couple that was not from our group that hiked into camp and our party asked if they passed the chap, they mentioned he only had about a sip of water left and was trying but not really trying to ask for more water. This was enough to trigger that feeling of being in the Alaskan wilderness with no water - it's a horrible feeling and let alone this is the desert! It was a hot day, thankfully I packed just enough water and electrolyte tabs to get me to the camp. I felt within me, it was up to me to go down and take a load off this guy; I packed a small day pack filled my camelback, brought some snacks for him and I, a water bottle for him, headlamp, knife and a sweater. I found a woman that lost her dog earlier about 1.2 mile down the trail with her dog and another girl that went to help her. The girl ended up coming with me as we both felt that tug we needed to do something. We headed down and found him about a 1.5 miles down the trail huffing and puffing, red in the face and looked completely disheveled. I asked how he was doing he said, "Oh I am fine." I was like uhh you don't look fine buddy I offered my water and for him to sit a minute. He chugged the whole thing and I I gave him beef jerky, he shoved it all in his mouth grunting like a sigh of short relief. I asked if I could carry his pack or something to eliminate the weight and he refused and walked passed me. His Coleman sleeping bag started to fall off and the other girl that was with me suggested he fix it, as it fell off I grabbed it and started strapping it to my pack. He leaned over and grabbed it out of my hands enough to leave red marks from the stapes and said, "NO! I have it, leave me alone." The girl I was with stood back and gave a bewildered look. She told him, "look we are here to help you now let us carry something." He grumbled back, "No, you're making me look like an idiot." I said, "Sorry to break it to ya bud but you don't look like you're in too good of shape, there's a mile and a half up to go and it looks like it's going to rain, do you have rain protection? Have you eaten?" He said, "No my spoon is dirty and it doesn't rain in Nevada" then laughed. At this point I couldn't decide at this point if he was delirious, mentally disabled, or just flat out stubborn. I have never been in a circumstance where someone obviously needs help but doesn't realize it, I didn't know what to do; I still don't if I were to be in that situation again. As he dropped his pack I began to just take action and pull off the strapes that tied the 2nd backpack to carry it and the sleeping bag to the other girl. He pushed me aside and yelled, "you're really pissing me off, go away, you're messing it all up! I had it all just set right!" At this point the other girl whispered, "eh fuck him" and walked away. I wanted to do the same but seriously this dude is going to get himself killed, maybe not today but to be so naive to under estimate mother nature in the desert, dehydrated, weak and couldn't eat because his spoon was dirty I couldn't just walk away. He put everything back and I walked with him and the other girl said, "I think it's because you're a girl." I didn't think of it but I guess it made sense but in any horrible circumstance such as this I would give a fuck who came to help me. I think his pride weighed more than his 2 packs and I gave him a talking to about under estimating the weather, the situation he put himself and all of us in for worrying about him, etc. We hiked a good 3/4 of a mile and came trotting down a loud mouthed man in flip flops and roared, "hey buddy! Let me take that pack from ya!" The dude thankfully dropped it and handed it over. Huh. Well at least he got help and I filled my pack with firewood and headed up back to camp. Once everyone got back, he about dropped, people took his pack, set up his tent and unloaded it. I think we estimated the weight of about 85 lbs. 85 LBS!!!!! He ended up having his 2nd bag filled with canned food, a regular sized canned opener, big ass flashlight, 5 thermoses, and whatever you would take car camping. Poor guy. But to continue my journey and passion of the outdoors, what the hell do you do with a person that obviously needs help but not from a woman?

Anyway, interesting fun weekend and I definitely have mad respect for these Vegas Hikers! It was like 90 degrees and they pushed through like it was nothing! We pulled over to air up tires on the dirt road, I went to pee behind a bush and I felt like the pee was just evaporating before it even hit the dirt. 

If you plan on going camping or backpacking please stay sexy and adhere to the following list I created: 

Backpacking Checklist – 10 Essentials

1. Navigation
    a.     Map – with protective case
    b.     Compass
    c.      GPS

2. Sun Protection
    a.     Sunscreen and lip balm
    b.     Sunglasses

3. Insulation
    a.     Jacket, vest, pants, gloves, hat

4. Illumination
    a.     Headlamp and flashlight
    b.     Extra batteries

5. First Aid Kit
    a.     Antihistamine
    b.     High Altitude Sickness remedies
    c.      Pepto-Bismol
    d.     Eye drops

6. Fire
    a.     Matches and lighter
    b.     Waterproof container
    c.      Fire Starter *I like to use cotton balls and coat them in petroleum jelly

7. Repair kit and tools
    a.     Knife or multi tool
    b.     Mattress; duct tape strips

8. Nutrition
    a.     Extra day’s supply of food
    b.     Multi vitamins

9. Hydration
    a.     Water bottles
    b.     Water filter
    c.      Extra tablets for filtering

10. Emergency Shelter
    a.     Tent, tarp, bivy, or reflective blanket

Stuff



  • Backpack
  • Daypack/Summit Pack
  • Pack cover
  • Tent, tarp or bivy sack (with stakes, guylines)
  • Foot print
  • Sleeping bag
  • Stuff sack or compression sack
  • Sleeping pad
  • Pillow or stuffable pillow case
  • Whistle
  • Trekking poles
  • Ice axe
  • Meals
  • Energy food (bars, gels, chews, trail mix)
  • Stove
  • Whiskey in Nalgene flask
  • Fuel
  • Cookset
  • Dishes/bowls
  • Utensils
  • Foil
  • Garbage bags
  • Cups
  • Food-storage canister
  • Nylon cord (50 ft for hanging food)
  • Backup water treatment (e.g., halogens)
  • Lantern

More Stuff



  • Boots
  • Socks (synthetic or wool) plus spares
  • Gaiters
  • Sandals
  • Camera
  • Binoculars
  • Permits
  • Route description or guidebook
  • Field guide
  • Notebook, pen
  • Credit card and small amount of cash
  • Toilet paper
  • Sanitation towel
  • Hand sanitizer
  • Insect repellent
  • Toothbrush/toiletry kit
  • Biodegradable soap
  • Quick drying towel
  • Cell phone
  • Post hike snacks, water, towel, clothing change, shot of whiskey *my favorite you’ll appreciate yourself you packed this for yourself!
  • Trip itinerary with friend and under car seat
Clothes



  • Wicking t-shirt (Synthetic or wool)
  • Wicking underwear
  • Quick drying pants
  •  Long sleeve shirt or sun/bugs
  • Sun-shielding hat
  • Bandana or Buff
  • Wicking long underwear
  • Hat, Snow cap
  • Gloves
  • Raingear (jacket, pants)
  • Fleece jacket or vest and pants
                       
  Meal Plan for May 10 – 12, 2013

Friday


  •  Eat nice big breakfast before heading out!
  • Snacks for day hike:
    • Trail mix
    • Extra sharp cheddar Cheese *sharper will keep longer
    •  Beef Jerky
  • Lunch
    • Tuna sandwich
    •  Granola Bar
    •  Cashews
  • Dinner
    • Backpacker Meal
    • Peanut M&M’s
    • Whiskey
Saturday


  • Breakfast
    • Backpacker meal
    • Instant Coffee
  • Snacks
    • Cliff Bar
    • Peanut Butter pretzels
    •  Gatorade mix
  • Lunch
    • Salami and Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese
    • Flat bread
  • Dinner
    • Instant mashed potatoes - loaded
      • Bacon bits
      •  Cheese
    • Whiskey
    • Dark Chocolate
Sunday


  • Breakfast
    • Instant Oatmeal with dried cranberries, raisins and banana chips
    • Instant Coffee
  • Snacks
    • Smoothie pack these are my favorite {http://www.peterrabbitorganics.com/fruit-snacks/mango-banana-and-orange.htm} you can find them either in the produce section or baby food aisle.
    • Cliff Bar
  • Lunch
    • Wrap with banana chips, Justin's Honey Peanut Butter, Granola, raisins
    • Fruit Leather
Extra meal
PB&J packets, Extra Tortilla, Granola bar, Ramen Noodles *crushed in Ziplock bag

Packing

You want to pack your snacks in a different dry ditty sack: 


I use the small blue one for the snacks and strap it to the outside of my pack for easy access while hiking on the trail. However you can also take out the day’s snacks to place in your pocket for easier accessibility.

Then use the Green or Grey sack for your meals and when you back you want to place backwards; extra food first, Sunday’s lunch, breakfast then Saturday’s dinner, lunch, breakfast, Friday’s dinner, lunch, etc.

When packing your backpack:

You want to be cautious of the amount and weight you are putting into your bag including the weight of the pack. Your goal is to get to about 30lbs. plus or minus a few, especially if you are new and your gaining any elevation. Keep in mind of your water! Depending on where you are backpacking to and from and along check recent updates on the water sources. If you are hiking near water, your filter will be your best friend which leaves you room for more whiskey! If you are hiking some place without water source you will have have pack in your own which gets heavy quick. I have a little over 3 liter water bag which is just under 8lbs. Then I also pack about 2 Nalgenes which also puts on another 2 lbs. I'm already at 10 lbs. which leaves me 20lbs of room for everything else. You never think about it but ounces count! It helps if you have a food scale to make sure you aren't packing too much. Also you want to consider the amount of calories you will be burning each day and how much you need to refuel yourself. 

Top: first aid kit for easy access

Bottom: overnight items, clothes, you can also strap bulky items to the bottom as well.


Pockets: you want to place your knife, headlamp, tools, water filters, layers, map, compass, whistle, sunscreen, glasses, etc for easy access. 

Yay! Happy Trails.












Sunday, May 5, 2013

Was Instructed to as Least Say "God" Once

Part of being bored at my job that I hated, it gave me a lot of time to browse the inter-webs. Curious one day after going through all this atheism stuff, I met a man that was an ordained minister that performed "spiritual" weddings. He did about 24 and most were for friends, his profession was a freelance writer. I love to write and how cool would it be to pick up jobs here and there and make your own schedule to get them done. I liked this guy, we went out a couple times and had some sort of chemistry.  However, the whole minister thing sort of threw me off because when I hear "ordained minister," I thought about my brother in law; when he got ordained it was a big deal. Don't get me wrong, I am very proud of him and happy that is his route he has chosen to take. It was an honor for him and all of us as family.

The sexy minister (that is you Noel Sky) mentioned he was ordained online and I remember an old friend had her dad become ordained because her father in law couldn't do the wedding on a Sunday. This sort of make me laugh inside only for the fact that it is easy to become ordained just online it also enticed me to form a new title and go for something that was unique just because.

So it was probably a busy day at work that I neglected and started clicking around, I found a site that had a giant button, "click here to become ordained." I laughed and clicked and asked me a couple questions then I think I got called somewhere at work and closed out. A month later I got a newsletter from the site the title read, "Dear Reverend Nelson," This was a great laugh out loud moment. I had a certificate and checked into it's legit-ness and sure enough, it was all good. In my laughter, I posted something on Facebook and my dear friend Michelle had asked me. I thought she was joking and I was going to say no, I'd hate to ruin someone's wedding.

The more I thought about it, I decided to invite my sexy minister friend out for dinner to get some information and advice. He was excited for me and was encouraging what an honor it was for me to be asked and this was a great moment for not only their lives but for mine. He was really helpful and insightful for non religious ceremonies. It gave me an idea since I am always fascinated with relationships, marriage and couples counseling that this could possibly fit into a new career change. Not saying performing weddings could be full time, but a small fraction as my wilderness therapy venture. I would love to take people backpacking, climb mountains, down rivers and get them married in remote places nature has to offer. I called Michelle and said of course, I would be honored. She told me her fiancé said I had to say God at least once and I said, "deal!"

Below is the wedding I wrote, overall the wedding went beautifully. I was excited however when I saw my friend walking down the aisle, I about lost my shit. I got overwhelmed with emotions and sounded nervous trying to get my stuff together. She had 4 people talk and it was a awesome small wedding. She has great style and I can't help but make a huge shout out to Kent's family. They are so awesome! It was fun to come together when old friends, make new friends, meet families and have a good time.



Wedding of Michelle and Kent
Pleasant Grove, Utah
May 3, 2013


-Music playing during seating, processions, unity, recession-


PROCESSION


Greeting to Bride and Father

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"

Introduction
On behalf of Michelle and Kent it is an honor and privilege to welcome everyone. Please be seated.

We give a special thanks to Ted and Kahala Wilson and Emery and Marbet Gigger for being such great parents all these years. You have watched Michelle and Kent grow and mature and finally arrive at this special moment in their lives.  Thank you for all the love and support you showered on Michelle and Kent.

We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, and to add our best wishes to the words which shall unite Michelle and Kent in marriage.

Marriage is a supreme sharing of experience, and an adventure in the most intimate of human relationships that one would not suspect walking into an In and Out Burger. Marriage is the joyous union of two people whose comradeship and mutual understanding have flowered in romance. Today Michelle and Kent proclaim their love and commitment to the world, and we gather here to rejoice, with and for them, in the new life they now undertake together.

Marriage will take more than love. It takes trust, to know in your hearts that you want only the best for each other. It takes dedication, to stay open to one another, to learn and grow, even when it is difficult to do so. And it takes faith, to go forward together without knowing what the future holds for you both. While love is our natural state of being, these other qualities are not as easy to come by. They are not a destination, but a cooperative venture in every sense.

Readings
Michelle and Kent have asked 3 dear friends and a family member to add a few words for their ceremony. First will be best man, Matthew Smith, Michelle’s sister, Cherellye Wilson, friends Preston Nielson and Erica Unice.

The Challenge
Thank you. As we all have been invited here to witness this special day, let’s remember as family and friends we are called from this day forward to encourage Michelle and Kent, Love them, give them your support and guidance.

Michelle and Kent, I would challenge you both, remember to treat yourself and each other with respect, and remind yourself often of what brought you together today. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your marriage deserves. When frustration and difficulty assail your marriage, as they do to every relationship at one time or another, focus on what still seems right between you, not only the part that seems wrong. And if each of you will take responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and joy.

Expression of Intent
I welcome those who are married among us to join hands with their partners, and to look into one-another's eyes to remember your commitment as Michelle and Kent proclaim theirs. Michelle and Kent, please join hands.

Michelle, do you come before this gathering to proclaim your love and devotion for Kent? Do you promise to affirm, respect, and care for him during times of joy and hardship? Do you commit yourself to share your feelings of happiness and sadness? Do you pledge to remain faithful?

Kent do you come before this gathering to proclaim your love and devotion for Michelle? Do you promise to affirm, respect, and care for her during times of joy and hardship? Do you commit yourself to share your feelings of happiness and sadness? Do you pledge to remain faithful?

Vows
You two have chosen to take this opportunity to express the deep feelings you hold in your heart for each other by writing your own vows. Too often we are embarrassed by our own feelings, as if the things that move us deeply, that touch our hearts, change our lives, should be somehow concealed in secrecy. But this is the most touching occasion of your life and you have chosen to be emotionally brave and advertise the love that brought you together.
Your vows are emotionally and spiritually binding; vows are love made tangible. They are the most sacred part of this important day.
Kent, will you turn towards Michelle and draw out your blueprint for the love you intent to sustain?
Michelle will turn towards Kent and draw out your blueprint for the love you intent to sustain?

Ring Exchange
These are the rings that both you, will wear for the rest of your lives, they express your love that you have for one another.

To Kent:
Kent, place ring on Michelle's finger and repeat after me:
I Kent, take you, Michelle to be my Wife- To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow and I promise all my love to you.
With this ring, I take you as my wife, for as long as we both shall live.

To Michelle:
Michelle, place ring on Kent 's finger and repeat after me:
I Michelle , take you, Kent to be my Husband.  To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow and I promise all my love to you.
With this ring, I take you as my husband, for as long as we both shall live.

Affirmation of Love
Michelle and Kent as the two of you come into this marriage uniting you as husband and wife, and as you this day affirms your faith and love for one another, I would ask that you always remember to cherish each other as special and unique individuals, that you respect the thoughts, ideas and suggestions of one another. Be able to forgive, do not hold grudges, and live each day that you may share it together - as from this day forward you will be each other's home, comfort and refuge, your marriage strengthened by your love and respect for each other.

Pronouncement
Having heard your intent, and having seen the love that abides between you, it is my great joy and honor to pronounce that you are, in the eyes of God and State, Husband and Wife. Kent you may kiss your bride.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mr and Mrs. Kent Gigger, partners in Love and in Life.
Go in peace, with love, light, and joy in your hearts.








There's No Such Thing as Friends.



Growing up my father always would say, “there’s no such thing as friends.” As a kid with lots of friends, this always offended me. “Uh dad!” I would say, I never knew what he meant by this. Especially when everywhere we went we would always run into someone that knew him. I remember times traveling out of town and we would still run into people he knew!

To this day I still may not understand what the hell he means but this but as I get older, the more something about relationships become clear. No matter how much time and trust you invest into someone, putting all your attachments into one person can be costly on your emotions. I have hurt and been hurt by so many people due to my ego and social pressure.

Writing the wedding of Michelle and Kent really challenged me to understand what friendship is, what love is, it made me reminisce of all my heart breaks and that the one that was the best relationship I base all moving forward ones on will be there with his new wife. As I prepped for a dramatic smack down from the young new wife and even after meeting her within the first 5 minutes I offered her something she hated, lemonade; I can’t help but root back to the zombie apocalypse, Jesus’ 2nd coming, Harold Camping’s revelation of the end is near.

I think of this because of all the things that are going on in this world of people killing people, shooting innocent children, bombs, plants getting blown up, exploring Mars we are human beings and a special species of the same kind. What and who else do we have to rely on when shit hits the fan? How did cultures survive without these cities we’ve built? We are all related and in a sense, family. We should value other’s emotions, feelings, being. We should be aware of other’s insecurities and instead of using them to get ahead, be understanding, be an example of a genuine human being. We should be taking care of each other.

In spite of all this craziness going on and people using people, I got to host a marriage ceremony! I got to unite and share one of the most exciting and genuine experiences my dear friends have found. Marriage is a supreme sharing of experience, and an adventure in the most intimate of human relationships. Marriage is the joyous union of two people whose comradeship and mutual understanding have flowered in romance. These two kids will be there when shit hits the fan - they are called to partner up in crime.

My face and stomach hurt from laughing so much the day of the wedding. It was such an honor to try and hold it together to perform a wedding ceremony for a beautiful dear friend. I feel at home here in Utah as I felt in Portland with the most amazing people. And I received closure by making amends with ex Bradley over beers with the new wife at the after party. It’s so odd how for so long we hang onto these awkward emotions and feelings we don't know what to do with that are basic and human however when we put egos aside, it’s nice to be genuine and be there for others when things go south.

It's finally nice to feel like I officially have began a new chapter of complete independence. We should take the time to learn from the people that come and go throughout our lives.

This morning, I returned to the very place where I fell in love with the wilderness. It is a sacred spot in my heart that molded me into the woman I am today. It made me realize I am strong independent and courageous.  It has renewed my soul and has encouraged me to enlighten others but more importantly, to be myself.  To be adventurous, explore that next trail around the corner, never look down for there are peaks to be seen and mountains to climb. To stay emotionally and reasonably grounded, to remember I came from this earth and to stay rooted like the trees. To grow, prune off that negative dead energy. Remain calm and when we die we become part of this earth, recycled into it.

I think I have the most amazing friends and love that they never change - if so it's only for the better it could be years but only feels like moments, and they open their homes and will give anyone the shirt off their back! I am one lucky lady that knows how to pick them.
My beloved Rock Canyon in Provo, UT