One Epic Happy Father's Day

I was talking to my father today and he reminded me that today is a 6-year anniversary not only since my little adventure but also for the Doty’s. It is the week my sister married the love of her life after I almost ruined the whole thing.

Six years ago I didn’t know I would have a story to tell others around a campfire or that I also use every single day to remind myself of my goals and passion for life. The story behind why I abandoned my career in management, the reason why I chose the college I did to educate myself in outdoor leadership, wilderness ethics, survival and psychology.

On June 12, 2008 Abby and I set off for an overnight 24-mile backpacking trip in Denali National Park, Alaska. We ended up hiking 40 miles out of our way in 7-days, not to mention we ran out of food, water, and ignited one of the largest search and rescue parties in Alaska. Did I mention this was all one week before my sister’s wedding?

With zero experience in backpacking, I thought where else in the world should I go to try this adventurous endeavor? I just got out of serious relationship and needed something new. This particular relationship was the hardest heartbreaks of all time in Erican history. So what better way to get over a break-up than a one-way ticket to Alaska! With nothing in my pocket but an over drafted bank account of negative $10, I set off for an Alaskan adventure with the mindset, “I’d do anything to get there.”

Here is where I met my dear friend, Abby from Gaylord, Minnesota. We both were looking for an epic adventure and sought employment for a wilderness lodge just outside Denali National Park. Our Alaskan dreams landed us housekeeping jobs.

On June 11^th after spending an 8-hour day making beds, scrubbing toilets, we discovered we had the same two days off by coincidence; June 12-13^th. We ran home to pack our bags, a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. As we went to catch the shuttle into Denali’s six million acres, I grabbed an extra Honey & Oats Nature Valley granola bar and stuffed it in my pocket – not knowing this would be our last to share for extra unplanned days.

Abby and I took off for a few small expeditions here and there prior to our most epic trip. We were great hiking partners, she was hilarious, always had something interesting and positive to say and we both were masters of punny jokes. She was a bit loud but was great for distracting the bears away and ate quicker and more than anyone I have ever met, also thinner than a twig. 

As we hiked our first day on June 12^th, we didn’t realize anything out of the ordinary. I unfortunately started my period and also got sick. I got super nauseous and threw up all the calories I needed to get through day 1. This night Abby made me eat our extra pb&j sandwich before heading to sleep.

On day two I woke up feeling like a millions bucks so we packed up and planned on hiking out for our final 12 miles that will get us back to our dorm room. Here is where I believe we mistook a very large seasonal run off stream as a river we were supposed to follow to keep us on route. We followed it with confidence thinking perhaps we misinterpreted the rough Alaskan terrain in this part.

After hiking 11 hours, we made an emergency camp and tried to head out early the 3^rd day so we could make it to work on time. On Sunday, the next day, I was supposed to catch a flight from Fairbanks to Houston, Texas to help my sister prep for her wedding.

That Sunday also happened to be Father’s Day and my heart broke as we hiked 14 more hours. We did everything to stay positive while I knew I was missing my flight. I remember hanging on the side of a cliff with the raging seasonal runoff river under me wanting to let go at the exact time my plane was taking off and Abby yelling at me "it's going to be ok, we are going to make it," all kinds of rainbow positive shit got me through one of the toughest moments in my entire life. I could elaborate more on this moment but I cry every time I think about it. To this day, I look at this vulnerable moment and remember the strength the mind has over your entire life. From this point on, all things are possible not through Christ but myself and my own mind, strength and ability to want to live. Being positive is the key for survival; it is crazy how you can physically feel your body give into death. 

We would often hear an aircraft overhead and run out screaming (sometimes clothed and sometimes not), signaling with a mirror and waving but no one saw us and we didn’t think anyone would even be looking for us anyway. I kept turning on my phone trying the 911 service, however no signals were picking up – I needed to inform my family I was going to be “a bit late” to the wedding rehearsal.

By day 4 we ran out of food and by then were rationing out that Honey & Oats Nature Valley granola bar I stuffed in my pocket last minute. Here we realized we were completely lost and not sure we would make it out alive. By day 5 I broke out the small notebook I had and ripped out a few sheets for Abby. We laid on our stomachs in my small Eureka tent as the rain poured and wrote quietly to our families. I just remember writing “I’m sorry” multiple times to my father, mother, and my sister. I am sorry I am so selfish for taking off on my own adventures, and “Alecia, I’m sorry for not being able to be there on your special day.” Trying desperately not to cry and lose any hydration I had I fell asleep and wasn’t sure I would ever wake up, or know if I even wanted to.

By day 6 and 7 we were completely drenched: our sleeping bags, tent and clothes, not to mention eaten alive by mosquitoes, completely cut up by bushwhacking through brush, dirty, wet, bruised, and beaten. We packed them up and headed west away from the river slurping out of nasty puddles on our hands and knees along the way to stay hydrated. As we hiked I saw in the distance strange looking clouds and threw off my bag to find my phone because if it appeared to be a structure and perhaps I’d have cell service. I turned on the phone and it sure enough we reached service. My phone went nuts with incoming voicemails and texts from random people. People I haven’t talked to in years from a job I worked at years ago. I thought I should probably call my mother, as I knew she was definitely worried.

She answered frantically, “Where are you?! Are you ok?” After I said yes she cut me off and said, “here talk to the ranger hurry! Apparently after my work reported us missing and flew both Abby and my parents to Denali. The Denali Rangers put together a search but since it’s a remote station, they called in rangers from Denali, Grand Teton, Mount Rainier, Yosemite, and Sequoia-Kings Canyon National Parks.

After a brief conversation with the station rangers they had a helicopter already on the way to where they believed we were. Later that afternoon, they honed in and hugged us with tears in their eyes, as they were part of the search from day 1. The pilot mentioned to us, “now there’s been just a little bit of media, not much so if you see cameras, don’t be alarmed.” We thought that’s embarrassing maybe we made local news. As we landed there was a huge crowd, search dogs, both our families Abby’s mom and dad, my mom and dad, my sister and her fiancé Dennis. So happy to see them we ran and gave them huge hugs apologizing sheepishly. I didn’t know what was going on. We were handed giant deli sandwiches and I ate them quickly and a wonderful Snickers bar.

We were asked to do some interviews and in the midst of it all, sure why not. Little did we know it would be plastered on all news stations across the US waiting to hear we were alive and well.

We flew into Houston the next day, Friday June 20^th for a quick nap and rehearsal and my sister was married on schedule that Saturday.

        

Every year I get to reflect on how precious life is and how lucky we are. Not knowing much about backpacking, that quickly got me up to date to plan ahead and prepare for anything I do. Also gain more outdoor skills to pass on to others along with family and friends.  Today I am thrilled to work at NOLS educating students on course and gear preparation. I work for an organization that is passionate on creating ethical leaders with a curriculum that upholds value not just in the wilderness but also in an office.

This year is the first I haven’t really thought much about the entire God aspect of it all. I usually feel guilty and terrible for being a bad Christian each year but this time around I am feeling great about life! I feel I am actually living and making the most of now and taking the time to learn and teach new skills. I have noticed over the past year I take time each evening to look at pictures of my family and watch videos of my niece that is growing up way too fast and still think I am selfish and need to find a middle of having them in my daily life. My family is the best. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful family! I am sorry for the rude awakening it took to realize. 

A father's day contribution - 

This is a post from the Facebook page of CentralOnline.tv on my father:

Love hearing stories about how God is working in and through the individuals at our church. This is Johnny and here is his story.. "I would like to share the story of how greatly God has blessed my family. I recently heard a teacher of the Word say, " An interruption in life could be an invitation for God to use us for His glory!” Well over the past 5 years, my family has had our share of life's interruptions.In June 2008, our daughter Erica was lost in Denali National Park when she and a co-worker didn’t return as expected from an overnight hike— the weekend before our daughter Alecia's wedding; December 2010, my wife was in the hospital the week of Christmas to have open-heart surgery; December 2011, following a routine colonoscopy, my doctor found stage 3 colon cancer on my right side. I tested positive for Lynch Syndrome, a hereditary condition with an 82% chance of developing into colorectal cancer. I’ve had no signs of cancer since then, but I can still recall my doctor saying, "It’s not a question of if, but when the cancer comes back...Interruptions? We’ve had our share. But with God, we have overcome. Erica was safely found 6 days after her “overnight” hike, Alecia was married a week after, my wife's heart surgery was successful, and I continue to see my doctors for follow ups… so far, I'm the healthiest I’ve been in years! So yes, despite the "interruptions," God has amazingly used my family’s lives to show His glory.". Share your story at CentralOnline.tv. #shareyourstory #centralonline

While my family puts their faith in God, I know it's their thing but my family is my strength and support. My father is such a strong, smart man that I am lucky enough to just inherit his wit. He is a rock and has been a solid foundation for my family. He has been through a lot, has great experiences and high tolerance, is patience, and has taught me everything about business, life and most importantly, laughter and sense of humor. Since I was a kid he took the time to find the fascination of my rock collection, he was and still is my best buddy. I look up to this man and think of him daily. Thanks father for being the very best of the best! 

http://www.nps.gov/dena/parknews/followup-on-search.htm

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-06-20-1300639234_x.htm

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=5200845&page=1#.UbjCNL8aXow

http://www.today.com/id/25273835/41134774#.UbjDQ78aXow

http://seattletimes.com/html/localnews/2004479004_webdenali15.html

http://www.nationalparkstraveler.com/2008/06/fresh-search-teams-arrive-denali-national-park-help-locate-missing-women

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,368468,00.html#

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,367883,00.html

Only the Half Way Point

I’m making a rafting pack and checklist, I “saved as” from my backpacking checklist and noticed the meal plan was dated May 10, 2013. Hey! That is exactly one year ago! I was planning a trip to Hidden Forest in outside Las Vegas, NV with a bunch of strangers off Meetup.com during my Revolution.

I have a lot to say contributing my one-year of throwing my hands up in the air, fucking my career, my “big girl” salary, and leaving my wonderful St. Clair apartment in charming downtown Portland. After all this just happened April 30, 2013 when I packed up Dorothy and first stop was headed south towards Salt Lake City to marry my friend Michelle to her lover. Then taking off to check off things I’ve always dreamed of doing alone, conquering fears along the way. But today makes me think of a couple significant things: awesome meals, leadership, and the whole "was it worth it?" 

After seeing this meal plan dated 1 year ago, the one thing I am grateful for is eating well in the backcountry. For a long time I was stuck with the tuna, granola, oatmeal, p.b. & j., now after my first year of school in “outdoor ed.” I am quite proud of landing the self-proclaimed prize of best meals ever in my cook groups – pizza, fajitas, steak, veggie bean burgers, shrimp wraps, pad Thai, pancakes, bacon bagels, caprese apps, etc. I think I take pride in rolling up my sleeves and taking over the meal plans and cooking. It also takes away the clean up since I’m the chef. You come visit me or come over for dinner is a whole new story, we are ordering take out! I cannot cook worth beans on anything other than an MSR Whisperlight. I am pretty sure that is a good thing!

Also revisiting my post “Keeping Backpacking 101 Sexy” I had the same exposure of backpacking with inexperience but this time I was in a leadership course. Backpacking with newbies reminded me of that guy I had to rescue then left in the desert to die because he was being a dick to me but this time it was a whole new experience when you have top notch leadership. Trip leaders are… ‘a trip’ to say the least; remarkable people. I have been very fortunate to have met my leader Daryl last summer in Bear Valley way before even thinking about Sierra Nevada College and was taken back by the way he led 12-16 year olds rock climbing. Attitudes and all, he rolled with the punches and left a lasting impression with not only myself but with my co-workers and young campers.

So I have been a manager, but after meeting and taking a course with Daryl, I have to stand back and honestly ask myself “was I a leader?” Anyone can be a manager but a leader is what my previous boss Autumn did to me. I wanted to work hard for her, she inspired me, I wanted to make a difference in my staff’s lives, I wanted to leave at the end of the day feeling that I did good in the world. While I felt that connection with my staff, the politics of corporate and I didn’t agree and it was time to move on.

While Daryl effectively led his crew, there was no way to leave any of the newbies behind, I was forced to be in a team of 18-23 year olds, you know, the ones I wrote about earlier in "The 20-Somethings." I was challenged and faced with the question: after giving up so much, is it worth it?

My last ODAL trip, April 18 – 20, 2014 was great to get back on the river and use the skills that I learned just over one year ago in guide school. After the weekend and talking to old friends, I found myself in a very reflective mood. One year ago during Easter (which was in March) I came to Nevada City, CA to visit my dear friend, Rachel. We rafted the Upper Yuba River and I was introduced to many of her friends that basically grew up on the river. 

Unhappy with my job, they were inspiring people with lots of jokes and stories, which by the end of my trip they eventually talked me into coming down in May to get training for guide school. Knowing I had to put my deep fear of water on behind me, I made a huge decision to face my fears and give up a comfortable life in Oregon. I remember the first couple days of guide school, I could not sleep and when I did I had nightmares of drowning and rapids we went through thinking the worst. After completing guide school and having a better understanding of my fear, I realized I did not have a respect for water and therefore was scared of it as I wrote about in "Fear the River Lords." Once I developed how to read the water, maintain a level of respect and be safe, I fell in love and a new hobby was formed.

This last class trip also made me reflect on my semester in ODAL 101 realizing that the words “management” and “leadership” go hand in hand but they are not the same thing. During my summer of 2013, I was in heaven working with no management title and felt like I was free with zero responsibilities. As a manager over the last 3 years, my job was to plan, organize, coordinate, administer, maintain, and focus on systems and structure of a corporation. Having good leadership this semester makes me realize what it is like to be a leader/innovator that can inspire, motivate, originate, focus on people, and do the right thing.

Anyone can be trained to follow orders, organize the work, assign the right people, and ensure a job gets done with a focus on budget, control and efficiency. A leader is an original not a copy that can grab people’s attention without asking nor demanding it. They are like a raft guide finding teamwork and leadership imperative, value life, have confidence to make strong decisions, ready for the unknown, stay calm, can tell a joke and have fun.

Overall, having this rafting trip on what seems like an anniversary has brought new focus of my goals and I had to give myself a pat on the back for walking away from a certain degree of conformity and level of comfort. I had tried many things to stay in Oregon, and now that I gave up to essentially start over, I am not regretting it. I wonder what type of new manager I will be by continuing on developing my leadership skills instead of my resume skills. Wondering when I put past the ages and egos what lies ahead. These are minor set backs, within my own self, my goals have always been very important.

So much happens when you stop your routine to say “yes” to something even if you don’t know it, learn it later. Life is too short. There is no eye in the sky determining your destiny; only you can create it by not being afraid of saying yes.

“If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you’re not sure you can so it, say yes- then learn how to do it later” [Even if the someone offering is you].

-Richard Branson            

The 20-Somethings

I saw two of those “someecard” meme’s that stated, “I’m 30 but I still feel like I’m 20…until I hang out with 20 year olds…then I’m like, nope never mind, I’m 30.” The other, “I was terrified of turning 30 until I turned 30. Now I’m terrified of 20-year-olds.”

I may not be quite 30 but while in Portland most of my friends were and not to mention I managed/supervised people much older than me ranging anywhere up to 60. I was normally the youngest anywhere, probably also the only brown one too. I never realized or thought it was a big deal until I came back to school to obtain a degree in Outdoor Adventure Leadership.

The course has a good curriculum breaking down what I have already been doing the last 7 or so years: backpacking, rock climbing, kayaking, and recently rafting/hydrology, it’s nice to actually have an expensive piece of paper informing others of this certification.

When I started hiking in 2007-ish I began to realize the awesomeness of nature and it helped me gain more independence as a woman. I learned valuable lessons getting lost in Alaska to basically take care of your shit: be in good stance with friends and family, live with no regrets, plan ahead and be prepared, be positive, take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Getting into different outdoor hobbies like bouldering, rock climbing, kayaking, and backpacking has taught me many things I could never learn in a classroom. However IN the classroom are things I didn’t pay attention to while out in the wilderness. More in depth conversations on wilderness ethics, business strategies, expedition planning, risk management, tolerance for adversity, people, oh the people… How can I be a leader if I can’t stand the people over 3 days sharing tents, food, planning, and having separate trip expectations then see them all over again under the fluorescent lights Monday morning?

Dealing with people has not been difficult in my past; I love people, even the crazy ones. I love psychology, and observing behaviors and the whole self-awareness thing goes a long way. I value genuine people and stimulating conversations over a decent glass of wine or a hoppy beer. One of my “hobbies” in Portland was online dating - it didn’t seem taboo or odd to me. Meeting 30 something year old men was fun, I approached it openly and walked away with a tab-less conversation that would blow my mind. I was addicted to getting into the thoughts of others, how they lived their lives, and some of the time I would walk away and know, “it’s not me, it’s you. I’m actually doing ok with this life thing!” For the most part I was able to meet intelligent men that had thought provoking things to say. I would go to work and be surrounded by a decent amount of professionalism. My friends were into the same things I was where we could sit around with no TV, on my deck, enjoying the rain, laughing all night, or checking out some local weird Portland beer/wine event.

Knowing I was leaving my friends and a career behind in Oregon (April 2013), what I didn’t know was the amount of maturity I was essentially giving up.

I had my first experiences last summer that thankfully turned out great. I ended up learning a lot from my young peers and since moved onto new things and keep in touch. The new things right now are turning 29 and spending lots of awkward time with 18 – 23 year olds.

23 was a great year for me, it was in the middle of transitioning to "living it up." Waking up with no hangover and being able to stay up till 5am and get to work with no problem by 8am. I was getting lost in Alaska and putting things in my back pocket I didn’t know I would need till 29. I felt like I knew a lot more than I know now. My argument though, to make me feel better, I was told a lot that I was an “old soul,” my evidence is having the jobs I did at 24 – 28. I look back at conversations I’ve had with my father thinking I knew so much more - boy, was I ever wrong. At 29 I catch myself remembering all the narrow things I believed and now exposed to more questions, not even having a firm grasp because life is awesome and ever changing.

Giving up a decent wage, way of living, and my beautiful downtown apartment really becomes a bigger heartbreak when I find myself struggling with how to react around these early 20 year olds. I was the little honey badger at their age and now who the fuck am I to them? I struggle not having a title, not having a leadership role and yet having to take care of the details of trip planning, providing the sun block, water, pretty much the BASIC necessities I had to learn on my own while all along, not to mention, we are in a Leadership course. My instructor pulled me aside last week and asked me how I really was doing, I had to unleash and all they could say was, "you're so humble."

Perhaps I’ll find my calling in this situation, I tried to find the leader revelation at the beginning of the semester when we were in the 'get to know you circle' but when you’re 23, you already know it all and don’t give a fuck. Sometimes I feel I should take a lesson from young me but after years of working and learning, I am not quite on the same level. The experience of having a heavy boss lady breathing over my shoulder telling me how to do my job is something I can’t run back to, so while The Kids Aren’t Alright, I’ll take ‘em as the frustrated awkwardness of life will always continue. In a way they are actually sort of like family, the little siblings I've never had.